False Hope

I want to talk about false hope. I hate it. It isn't the same thing as hope. I think only a person can give herself (or himself) true hope. This comes from within.

Living with infertility, we know what the odds are. We know the odds against us and the ones in our favor. We know what we face. 

In the beginning sure, we try to cling to similar stories, but in reality this just leads to jealousy, resentment, and disappointment. After a while we start to feel so alone. We are the only ones going through this. This isn't necessarily true, as 1 in 8 couples experience some sort of infertility.

However, we are the only ones living our actual story. There are so many different factors that go into trying to conceive. The woman's hormones, cervical mucus, ovarian response, egg quality, tube and uterine structure, uterine lining, immune response, the man's sperm count and quality, their timing, and so very much more. That's just for timed intercourse, even more goes into procedures like IUI and IVF being effective.

We cannot count on "such and such worked for so and so". ALL this tells us is they are part of the "good" odds. We ALREADY knew those existed, that doesn't make us automatically part of it. That isn't how it works. Just because it CAN happen, doesn't mean it WILL.

I see this sort of thing on the BBC all too often. My group is for people with  realistic expectations. We only promote that. I lose respect for people that want or try to force anything less. That may be harsh, but I cant stand for the disappointment that happens later, OR the "I told you so" just to be rubbed in our faces. There is no need for either of those.

Giving me helpful advice backed with reputable sources is all I need.